Looking for a way to feel really, really bad about yourself? Come to Amsterdam on an ugly day and walk around looking at all of the size 2, 6ft tall glamazons, who by the way, still manage to make smoking look sexy despite the black lungs and “smoking will kill you” labels plastered all over the cartons. Actually, don’t. I don’t recommend it at all. Trust me. I do not want to be held responsible for any eating disorders or body dysmorphia that may result. I may or may not have, for a moment, considered a blonde weave and leg extensions. But then I went home for Christmas. Did I mention I love America? Man nothing makes you feel better than walking along the streets of Baltimore, MD, cruising by a fried chicken joint on Northern Avenue. My size 6 body has never felt better. Thank you my obese country men and women! So maybe I’m no Dutch top model, but hey, things could be worse!