How to spot an American abroad

Now that I’ve been living abroad for over a year I can proudly say that I am now able to spot a fellow American from miles (or kilometers) away.

5 tell-tale signs an American is in your midst:

1. He/She looks utterly lost and may as well have a sign on their back saying “please, go ahead, steal all my money and take my passport while you’re at it!”

2. He/She is wearing running shoes with jeans/ street clothes. One may also include high white tube socks with shorts in this category.

3. He/She enters a bar selling among the tastiest beers in the world and plops down on the bar stool asking for an “ice-cold bud light, oh and hold the foam please”

4. He/She is the loudest person in the bar/restaurant and continues speaking at this preposterous volume insisting that if only they speak just a few decibel higher they will be completely understood. Didn’t you know all foreigners suffer from hearing loss?

5. He/She is about 5 times the size of locals yet is appalled by the lack of plus sized clothing and the tiny portion sizes. “How in the world do those Europeans stay so thin??”

OK, so I may be guilty of a just a few of these offenses…

I may look lost 99% of the time no matter where I am (this by the way has nothing to do with what country I am in), HATE foam on my beer, and am usually the loudest person anywhere I am ( I just happen to have a really loud laugh…).

BUT I have not and never will wear tube socks with shorts or sport a fanny pack.  Really, who ever thought that was a good idea?

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