Lately I’ve found it really difficult to separate work and school from my personal life. It’s not that I’m up all night answering emails or studying, it’s more that I allow the stress, and unfortunately dissatisfaction, that I often feel at work and school to follow me home.It’s funny because all day I can’t wait to go home and snuggle up on the couch with Sebastiaan (and a glass of my favorite organic wine) but when I finally drag myself upstairs to our apartment I’m so exhausted, drained and famished (ok, slight exaggeration) that I almost forget that I finally have the opportunity to relax.Instead, I throw my bags down, hang up my coat, mumble “hello” to Sebastiaan and go change my clothes. After a little while and something warm to eat I’m usually finally able to unwind. By this time, Sebastiaan is frustrated and my less than pleasant mood has rubbed off on him.
I didn’t even realize I was doing this until Sebastiaan brought it to my attention last night (yes, we had a small um… argument). I don’t want to come home with a scowl on my face everyday. I don’t think anyone wants that. Not only is it unhealthy for my relationship but it’s not healthy for me. So starting today I’m going to try something new. I’m going to come home, ignore the pile of dishes in the sink or the bag of trash that hasn’t been taken out and take a moment to breathe. In that one breath I will let go of all the negativity that I have carried around all day. That first step into my apartment is going to be like a new day. A fresh start.
I know that this won’t always be possible, and some days taking a breath may not cut it and I might need to throw and/or break something instead, but I’m going to try.I’m going to try because spending all day unhappy is no way to spend a day. I may not love my job and I may be counting down the minutes until I graduate but that doesn’t take away from all the wonderful things that I still get to experience everyday. I’m able to wake up everyday next to someone I love, I ride my bike past beautifully lit canals every morning, I get to watch the sun rise over the Dutch countryside from the train, I sit at my desk and listen to the sound of more than 5 different languages mingle in the office air. Come to think about it, do I really have that much to complain about? Not really. It’s time to focus on the positive. Time to get rid of that pesky ‘Negative Nancy’ whispering in my ear and look on the bright side a bit more often.
Afterall, life can be pretty amazing when you give yourself the opportunity to enjoy it. 🙂
“Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.” ~ Og Mandino